It’s a beautiful day here in the south and I’m finishing up with decorations inside. While the rest of my slugs family are playing Xbox. While sprawled across my bed.

So earlier this week the whole family trimmed the Christmas tree, decked the halls with plastic boughs and holly, and hung the lights inside and out. But as there are always extra decorations laying around (“We can’t throw that away…it’s been here since I was little!”), I chose to find a place upstairs to display this one last string of lighted snowflakes.

Okay, the reality is we already stuck the empty Christmas storage boxes up in the attic so I have no place to toss them. So there.

Anyway, as I glance around the playroom, something catches my eye in the corner. Something little, dark, and fast-moving. “It better not be a roach”, I think to myself. ‘Cause I’m totally unprepared with bare feet. And not carrying a heavy brick-like implement for smashing.

I see it move again and realize it’s just a lizard. That’s right. Just. This is the south, folks, and any critter that dispatches roaches with lightning speed is alright with me.

So when I see this reptile I suddenly remember lizard #1 from yesterday that Mr C saved from a slow, playful painful death at the furry paws of Holly, one of our cats. She had already caused the dismemberment of his tail when my son rushed him to me, “resuscitator of all things small and crawling away from felines.”

Lizard #1 had also been found upstairs in the playroom. Hmmm.

I was making my way over to lizard #2 and wondering how these creatures made it into my house, let alone upstairs, when I suddenly tripped. Over a scarecrow. That had been brought inside yesterday awaiting it’s journey to a magical land.

Okay, it was waiting for Spider X to pitch store it in the attic.

Anyway, I had seen lizards scaling Mt. Cornhusk…I mean the scarecrow… just last month when it graced our front yard. No problem. Just take the little guy back outside and you’re done, right?

Uh, no. That would have been too easy.

So I decided to grab my camera and take a couple of shots of lizard #2 a.k.a. Gordo (yeah, I named him).

Whoops. Bad move.

Gordo decided to re-enact the Great Escape as soon as I moved. It’s really not difficult to catch a lizard, unless you’re trying to save it’s tail from being separated from the rest of it’s body. So I tried to be gentle.

This was my undoing as I chased Gordo around the playroom and eventually onto the scarecrow. Suddenly he knew he was on home turf and showed me by quickly slipping into a hole in the pants.

Enough of this! I took the smiling scarecrow down to the patio and proceeded to search for the lizard. It ended up looking like I was frisking this stuffed guy on a pole. Embarrassing, really.

So I decided to leave Gordo and his hideout outside in hopes he would leave.

Thank goodness that was over.

Until I went back upstairs to clean up and found Gordo’s smaller neighbor, lizard #3.

Oh, great. Well, I chased down this one and kicked him out let him go, too. But his tail wasn’t so lucky.

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